


but i can’t hide my growing feelings

by shizu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cuddling & Snuggling, Living Together, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:01:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23496460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shizu/pseuds/shizu
Summary: Akaashi shook his head, chuckled quietly and kept eating. There were times, when Bokuto looked at him that he thought he would see everything written across his face.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 121





	but i can’t hide my growing feelings

**Author's Note:**

> i just wanted to clear a couple things before you start reading:
> 
> 1) i don't hate Daishou. i actually have nothing against him, unfortunately, he was the only name that popped into my head.  
> 2) yes, this is a quarantine au. yes, i couldn't help myself. i'm weak and i had to hop on this wagon, oops! stay safe fellas

Akaashi sighed, closed the laptop and put his glasses down. The headache that was just a dull ache that morning had evolved in a full raging pounding that threatened to split his head in two. He should have taken something earlier. 

He heard the vibration of his phone as it rattled on some surface somewhere in the flat and got up to locate it. Once he found the battered piece of technology, he wondered how long it had been going off. He had at least forty eight messages. Eh? Akaashi quickly unblocked the damn thing and tried to see what the fuss was about it. He had a few messages and a call from his mom. A message from Kenma and the rest, thirty two of them no less, belonged to Bokuto. He had no energy to deal with whatever was going on with his flatmate at that moment, so he checked Kenma’s first.

_Have you seen the news?_

Akaashi looked at the clock and realised it was late afternoon. He had spent most of the day trying to polish the manuscript that was due that evening. He got back to the phone. The message itself was weird, since when did Kenma even check the news? He’s usually too busy with the company. 

Akaashi scratched his cheek, wondering, and he was about to open a new tab in his browser when the phone started to vibrate with an incoming call.

“Kuroo-san.” he answered, furrowing his eyebrows. “What is going on?”

“Hey, Akaashi. Where are you? Have yo-hold on, Bo, wait a sec...” Akaashi could heard muffled noises and recognized a very familiar yelp. He rubbed his temple, yeah, he definitely should have taken medicine earlier. “Hey, sorry. Are you in the house?” Kuroo asked.

“I’m sure you already know that as you were meeting Bokuto-san this morning.” he sighed, “Care to explain why I had a stupidly amount of messages from him? And also Kenma. What was he talking about?”

“Ah. So he did message you. Well, have you? Seen the news?”

“No, I haven’t. I’ve been dealing with work all day and I just checked my phone. Why?”

“We’re in lockdown starting tomorrow.”

Lockdown? What lockdown? Huh? He was trying to make sense of the words but his head hurt too much.

“Kuroo-san, I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about and I am too exhausted to decipher your bullshit.”

Kuroo chuckled, “You brat. The more tired you get the more insufferable, aren’t ya?” Akaashi sighed. “Alright, alright. Well, you my friend, and all of the population in this country are about to be quarantined. Ain’t that exciting?”

“What the fuck?”

“Yup! I’m pretty sure you at least are acquainted with the virus going on around. They decided a few weeks of quarantine will help, so.” 

“Are you for real? How many weeks?” His mind was reeling. He had too many manuscripts still waiting for him to edit and wait, was he not supposed to leave the house at all? What about food? How long was this supposed to take? How long holed up in the house with...Bokuto. He stopped pacing.

“What about Bokuto-san?” he asked. 

“What about him? This applies to everyone, man. You both gotta stay in the house.” he could see the fucking smirk the tall boy was probably sporting.

“Kuroo-san…”

“Aren’t you happy, Keiji-kun? You’ll have to take care of each other, there’s no one else.” before he disconnected the call he heard the telltale laugh of his friend. 

This was going to be hell.

-

The sound of the door closing too loudly startled Akaashi awake. He blinked rapidly, trying to get used to the new darkness. He realised he must have fallen asleep after the phone call. He was sore and tired and the stupid headache was still persisting. He rubbed his eyes.

“Akaashi! I brought dinner!” Bokuto hollered from the hallway, “I also did grocery shopping! Don’t worry, I promise I gotchu real food to survive the quarantine.” The noise he was making while trying to put away all the items just worsened Akaashi’s head. How was he supposed to get any peace if Bokuto was going to be around all day? He was probably not going to get any work done. No...that wasn’t fair. Bokuto could be loud and exuberant but he was always respectful when it came to Akaashi’s space and work.

“‘Kaashi?” he looked up at the mention of his name. Bokuto’s head peeked from the kitchen door. He grinned. “Fell asleep, didn’t you?” Akaashi mumbled something under his breath, “What was that?” He just shook his head and groaned when his whole body protested while getting up. Bokuto chuckled. “Come on, sleepyhead.”

He came into the kitchen and the harsh brightness of the lights blinded him for a moment. Bokuto was humming while setting the takeaway dishes on the table. He was still on his work out clothes, kneepads high on his thighs. Akaashi swallowed and sat down. 

“Here,” the silver haired boy gave him a steaming bowl of rice with some curry and his stomach growled embarrassingly. The older boy laughed and patted his hair affectionately. Akaashi could feel his cheeks burning but he remained silent. “You always forget to eat when you’re stressed, Akaashi.” Bokuto chastised.

“There’s too much to do and not enough hours.” he said and started digging in his food, the warmth waking him up a bit more. He looked at his flatmate, who was trying to eat all the different dishes at the same time. Akaashi smiled softly. He was such a mess. “Are you going to stay in the house?”

“Huh?” Bokuto looked at him, tilting his head to one side. “Of course! Were you listening to Kuroo? Everyone is supposed to stay at home.” he gestured widely with his chopsticks, “Ah! You never answered my text messages, ‘Kaashi!”

Bokuto was right, he forgot to even check them. Guilt started to creep in. 

“What were they about?”

“The quarantine! Man, you got me worried for a moment there. Kuroo said you were probably okay but he doesn’t know how you get when you’re in the zone!” he exclaimed.

“The zone?”

“Yeah, you get all serious and menacing! Your frown gets three times worse than usual and sometimes I feel like the glasses don’t help at all with the amount of times you keep squinting at your laptop. It’s like the world around you disappears” Akaashi paused, spoon midway to his mouth and blinked, looking at the other man. “And you never listen when I tell you to go to bed! Akaashi, you need to rest more. How are you supposed to use that smart brain of yours if not!?” he munched happily, meeting Akaashi’ stare. “What?”

Akaashi shook his head, “After all, you are quite perceptive, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto’s golden eyes seemed to pierce him and for a second Akaashi almost forgot how to breathe. He grinned, without averting his eyes, and answered “Why do you think they keep me around in the team? Gotta have something aside from my good looks.”

Akaashi shook his head, chuckled quietly and kept eating. There were times, when Bokuto looked at him that he thought he would see everything written across his face.

-

It had been almost two years since they started living together. They had met through Kuroo a few years before but aside from the occasional birthday gathering on his friend’s house, Akaashi didn’t know much about Bokuto. That he was a volleyball star player, sure, he was well aware of that. How could you not be when his face was plastered on billboards? He was a cheerful, boisterous acquaintance and he understood why he and Kuroo fitted like a globe, they were both five years old. But that was it. 

And then things had gotten bad, really bad, with Daishou. To the point that Kuroo had to intervene. He shuddered, still remembering the day he had phoned his friend, holding the tears back while he asked for help. He had never seen Kuroo so furious before that. He’d seen him being an asshole and getting petty over stupid things and although he never liked Daishou, he had always respected Akaashi’s decision. 

They’d arrived together, Kuroo and Bokuto, to Akaashi’ surprise. And Kuroo’s voice had gotten so loud that he ended flinching, promptly shutting his friend up. Both pair of eyes had zeroed on the marks around his neck and the split lip and though Kuroo’s voice had gotten lower, he hadn’t stopped mumbling furiously. Bokuto’s stare, on the other hand, never strayed away. It seemed like he was trying to erase those sick bruises with his eyes only. 

He hardly remembers how they got from one apartment to the other. How, between the three of them, had packed Akaashi’s belongings and fled that space that had stopped feeling like a home a while ago. And somehow, he had ended in Bokuto’s flat, hastily refusing the offer to stay, to the point he had started crying, making the other two men speechless for a few seconds. Bokuto spoke over his friend’s words, who was trying to make him realise this was the easiest option. To this day the younger man still remembers vividly the words: _You can leave any time you want but I promise, no one will touch you again. You’ll be safe here._

The intensity of those golden eyes, never wavering, the certainty of his words and the softness of the smile directed at him finally broke him. Akaashi knelt on the floor, a sobbing mess, feeling like he could finally breathe. Kuroo hugged him, speaking only reassuring words into his ear, while the other man disappeared into the kitchen to prepare tea for everyone. 

Akaashi came back to the present when he felt something brushing his fingers. Bokuto just deposited a steaming mug in front of him, having cleaned up the leftovers already. He exhaled slowly. Clearly, he was prone to get into more than one _zone_.

“Take this” the silver haired man dropped a small pill next to the mug. “You’ve been frowning since I arrived. Bet ya have a raging headache.” 

Akaashi smiled warmly, “Thank you, Bokuto-san.”

The latter only hummed and left the kitchen after proclaiming he was going to take a shower.

-

It had already been four days since quarantine started. For the first three days Akaashi had been madly busy trying to sort out what the company wanted to do: to keep working from home, as it was nothing new for editors, or if to take holidays for a few weeks. Akaashi didn’t mind working, it kept him occupied and the days didn’t feel so suffocating, yet he didn’t want to pour all his energy into it. He barely had anything left for himself after almost a week of being indoors.

He was lounging in the couch, pondering what to do when a thought struck him. He hadn’t seen his flatmate at all today did he? Actually, he hadn’t seen Bokuto for the past two days. He gazed to his door and then turned back to the tv. It was fine, he was probably gaming but...he usually played in the living room? Akaashi started worrying his lips between his teeth, frowning. Was he alright? Was he having an off day? He stood up abruptly. If Bokuto was indeed on one of his low moods, Akaashi didn’t want him holed up in his room in the middle of a quarantine. God know how awful it must already be, for someone who is constantly out of the house training, to be unable to leave an enclosed space.

He knocked on his door. Nothing. He knocked again a little bit harder. Still nothing. He opted for opening and peeking inside. The room was almost pitch black, with only a sliver of sun coming through the blinders and hitting the desk and there, on the bed, was a huge lump of covers. A very large and human shaped lump.

“Bokuto-san.” No answer, no movement.

Akaashi wasn’t one to initiate normally contact and although the older man was usually quite tactile, he was sure he still hold himself back a lot. Or that’s what the raven haired man thought. He’d seen Bokuto hugging and clapping most of their friends, draping himself over Kuroo eighty five percent of the time and even putting his arm around Kenma when he allowed it. But to Akaashi, he mostly patted his hair or slapped him in the back once in a while and it had taken almost a year for him to do that. There was a period of time that Akaashi actually considered the possibility of Bokuto not liking him that much. Yes, he had offered his house but that didn’t mean they had to get along. But slowly, after Akaashi got a grip on his life and things became better, Bokuto also started to pester him more. He was always asking to watch movies together and would beg for him to go see his matches. He drove Akaashi crazy sometimes but he was grateful everyday for not feeling so lonely anymore. 

He got closer to the bed and sat down where he assumed Bokuto’s legs to be, patting them slightly. “Bokuto-san, would you like to watch a movie?” 

After a few seconds, a mop of silver hair peeked through the covers. Bokuto’s face, frequently sporting a huge grin, felt foreign to Akaashi on days like this. Without his bright smile he barely looked like himself. Bokuto’s gaze was focused somewhere behind Akaashi’s left shoulder with zero intentions of moving. Or apparently, speaking. He squeezed his legs again. ”Let’s watch a movie.” Bokuto’s mouth opened but before he could say anything the younger added, “Please.”

Something on the older’s eyes shifted and he nodded. Akaashi smiled gently, offering his hand. It took a while but he waited patiently for his flatmate and when his hand touched his palm he grasped it tightly, getting up and pulling Bokuto along as well. 

Once in the living room, Akaashi flipped through the channels until he found something he deemed good enough. Or that at least will deviate his flatmate’s dark thoughts for a while. The bigger man was huddled in a corner on the couch, hugging his knees to his chest and absently staring at the big screen.

Akaashi looked at him a couple times during the evening and could see the tension on his frame easing away slowly. He started to relax himself and decided to try and pay attention to the plot of the movie for once.

A few hours later Akaashi stirred awake and shifted, trying to hide his face from the brightness of the screen when he somehow noticed his head was laying on something more sturdy than the couch and a lot warmer. He inhaled deeply. The muskiness hit him first, then the twinge of oranges. Was he dreaming? When he shifted again, trying to curl into himself, he felt a light touch on his back and his hand spasmed on something soft, almost like cotton.

He blinked a few times and looked up. A pair of hooded golden eyes were staring at him. Too close. Too damn close. _Okay, cool, don’t panic. Don’t panic, Keiji!_. He swallowed, tasting the staleness in his mouth and grimaced, backing away from his flatmate’s body and sitting almost at the other end of the couch.

“Sorry.” Bokuto’s voice was raspy. Probably from not using it much the past few days but Akaashi also noted the slackness on his face, slightly different from earlier, so he assumed he must have fallen asleep as well.

“It’s okay, Bokuto-san.” he looked at the television, “Guess the movie was very entertaining” he deadpanned.

The familiar snort made him turn away again and look at the older man. Bokuto was rubbing one of his eyes, the ghost of a smile on his lips. Akaashi’s body filled with warmth. He was pleased to see Bokuto regaining a little bit of his cheerfulness. He looked up at the clock on the far wall and realised it was almost midnight. He sighed. Every day felt the same. 

He touched his hair, a wild mess of curls no doubt and saw Bokuto looking at him tiredly but alert. Akaashi said, “We should try to rest for real though.”

Bokuto nodded and pushed himself up, stretching his back until it popped. Akaashi followed the movement of the muscles. His hand twitched.

“Night, ‘Kaashi.” 

“Goodnight, Bokuto-san.” he murmured back. 

The door closed behind those broad shoulders.

-

Akaashi was in his room when the door banged open.

“Akaashi, I’m bored.” His flatmate grumbled from the door frame.

“Go for a run.”

“I just came back from one!” he protested.

“Play a video game?”

He was putting his final touches on a manuscript that had been giving him a headache for the past days. Honestly, some of his artists were taking their sweet time now that they were quarantined and it was making him want to pull all his hair out. And maybe chuck the computer on their faces. Too bad he couldn’t leave the house.

His flatmate kept whining, claiming he hadn’t paid attention to him for days now, which was not true at all, seeing as they’ve been watching movies every single day since that night...and cuddling. Somehow, after what happened last week, the gates had opened and Bokuto was constantly demanding cuddles. Be it while they were watching something on tv or when one of them was napping. Some days, when Bokuto was on one of his dejected modes he would seek Akaashi and of course he indulged him. He was always indulging him. But this whole situation was messing with Akaashi’s head. He had known for a long time he had a crush on his flatmate but he was fine with the no touching rule so far. Okay, maybe not fine but content enough about the occasional touch. But this? This was going too far. The younger man was constantly analyzing the situation, panicking every time it seemed like Bokuto looked at him as if he knew. But he never said anything, so he would just exhale and surrender, trying to calm his nerves and avoid the topic that never came up.

“Then let’s play it together, Akaashi!”

“Not now, I’m about to finish this.” 

He looked back when he heard Bokuto shuffling inside, pleading eyes. He sighed, pinching his nose. He honestly needed to stop with the puppy eyes.

“My head hurts. Maybe later.”

Bokuto perked up, closer now to the bed. He cocked his head, saying something too low for Akaashi to hear and then he jumped on it, sprawling like he belonged there.

Akaashi didn’t have it on him to even be upset about it.

“Bokuto-san.”

“Let’s just lie down for a bit, ‘Kaashi.” he patted the comforter. “It will help your head.” he grinned, like he knew the younger man wouldn’t be able to refuse. Once again he was right. Akaashi surrendered.

He got up, took his glasses off and put them on the bedside table. Bokuto scooted back, making space for Akaashi as he lay down, his muscles stiff from sitting for so many hours. Bokuto harrumphed and maneuvered both of them, throwing one of his arms over Akaashi’s torso, snuggling closer. His head on top of Akaashi’s left arm. 

“Only for a few minutes, Bokuto-san.”

“Nap time” Bokuto muttered, his grip tightening. Akaashi sighed for the hundredth time that day and looked at the ceiling. Why was the universe determined to make his life so difficult? He wanted the quarantine to be over. 

He closed his eyes, his hand coming up to Bokuto’s head, and if he fell asleep stroking his hair, well, no one had to know. Except for the hair’s owner, who lay down there blissfully, faking sleep while he reveled on the tenderness of the touch.

-

Akaashi stirred the contents in the pan, the spiciness making his nose tingle. How many days had passed since they had been secluded? A week already? He had only left the house twice. Once for grocery shopping and another one when his body was so restless he had to go for a run. That day Bokuto had caused such a ruckus after waking up from a nap and finding Akaashi gone from the apartment, that he had threatened the younger man with not letting him back inside if he ever left again without telling him beforehand or at least bringing his phone with him. He chuckled. This whole situation was certainly taking a toll on both of them. 

He finished making lunch and platted the food. His stomach made a tiny growling sound and Akaashi wondered if he had been hungrier than usual lately. There were days that he still forgot to eat and Bokuto would drag him to the kitchen and yet it seemed like he was eating constantly. Then again, they had been in quarantine for almost two weeks already and sometimes he felt like he had taken ten trips to the kitchen only to come back with some sort of snack. Bokuto definitely had. No idea how he wasn’t sick yet of those cheesy crisps and the chocolates. When things would go back to normal and he was back to his training regimen, he was definitely going to regret every single one of them.

Bokuto was currently sitting on the living room table, humming some out of tune song while doing a puzzle. Akaashi still got surprised every time he saw it. For someone who could barely stop twitching sometimes, puzzles apparently were the only thing to make the older man go motionless. Or at least, they helped relax him enough to focus. Akaashi found it thrilling how if he paid enough attention, Bokuto did puzzles with the same intensity he played on the court. 

The younger man started to bring the dishes to the table and carefully put the plates near the puzzle.

“Time to eat, Bokuto-san.”

“Ah! Thanks, ‘Kaashi” he murmured, still with his eyes on the puzzle, and pecked Akaashi on the lips. The younger man stopped. Blinked. Huh?

A moment later, Bokuto’s actions registered and he shot up from the chair, “Oh my god!” he screeched. 

Did he...wait, what? Holy shit, what? Did Bokuto just kiss him? What the fuck? Akaashi tried to make his brain work but there was only an annoying buzz and hold on, why did he kiss him? 

“Bokuto-san.”

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.” he yanked at his hair, puzzle a forgotten mess on the table after it rattled when he got up. “I’m so sorry, Akaashi!”

Akaashi opened his mouth but Bokuto stopped him, hands flying wildly around, “No! I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have done that, I should’ve…”

He was rambling, frantic, and Akaashi couldn’t process anything at this moment.

“Bokuto-san…”

Golden eyes zeroed on him, panicked and after shaking his head vigorously, fled the apartment.

“Bokuto-san!”

Akaashi was still reeling but he made an effort to try and cool down his head. Bokuto just left the house. In the middle of a quarantine. He started pacing, what if something happened? Where was he going? Fuck, what if…He came to a stop near the bathroom. Bokuto had kissed him. What made him do that? Was being in lockdown actually messing with his head? Was the sudden and constant cuddling confusing him? Bokuto didn’t like him! 

He went to his room to get his phone and dialed the only person he could think would help.

“Whaddup.” Kuroo’s voice drawled.

“Bokuto-san kissed me.” There was silence and then his friend started laughing. “It’s not funny! He left. He kissed me and then fled the apartment!” he hissed.

“Ah man, he never disappoints me.” he snickered. “What’s the big deal? He’ll be back once he gets his head outta his ass.”

“What’s the big deal, you say? Maybe the fact he kissed me?”

“So? Nothing surprising here.” What? No. On what planet was this not shocking? “Come on, Akaashi. We all know Bokuto likes you.”

“What are you talking about? He’s not even gay!”

“Eh? Dude, Bo’s the gayest person I know.” What the hell? But...he never said anything? But then again, why should he? He doesn’t remember Bokuto saying anything about it. Ever. Not even a passing comment and as long as they’ve been living together he never dated anyone either. Did he?

“But…”

“Everyone knows you’ve been pining for each other. I actually don’t know what took him so long. I mean, he’s been aware for a while now so I thought he would act on it sooner but I guess you never know what goes on his head.” the older man mussed.

 _He’s been aware for a while now. Aware. For a while._ Akaashi’s mind was just static noise. 

“Has he known all this time?” he asked. Embarrassment going high on the list of the jumbled mess that was barreling on his mind right at that moment.

“Akaashi, come on, man. Bo might be a dumbass but he’s not oblivious.”

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

“Ah, that potty mouth of yours.” Kuroo chuckled. “He never believes me when I tell him, tsk.”

“Kuroo-san…”

“What do you want me to say?”

“He left.” 

“And? He’ll be back. He’s probably on the rooftop or running circles around the building.” his tone got serious. “But listen, Keiji, you need to confront him, alright? Don’t play dumb, you're both adults. You need to talk.”

Akaashi sighed. How was he supposed to sort this out? What the fuck was he even supposed to say? _Hey I’ve had a crush on you for years, let’s date?_ He groaned. This whole situation was insane.

Whatever Kuroo was saying next got lost when he heard the main door opening and closing faintly. He breathed in. 

“He’s back.”

“That’s good, see? I told ya. Now, go and use that pretty brain of yours. And don’t swear too much or you’ll shock my poor baby!”

Akaashi rolled his eyes and hung up. His friend's raucous laugh still echoing. _Okay, here we go._

When he emerged from his room, Bokuto was standing in the middle of the living room. He was looking at the table, puzzle forgotten along with their lunch, now cold. He glanced to Akaashi the moment he came into view. His hair was a mess, like he had been tugging at it for a while and his gaze was resolute, as if he had made up his mind already. Akaashi frowned. He didn’t have a good feeling about this.

“Akaashi, listen, I’m very sorry.” he started. “I don’t know why I did that, I guess I was just too focused on the puzzle and it was instinctual.” One of Akaashi’s eyebrows went up. “Not like that! It’s not like I did it on purpose! I mean, it’s just...we are friends, right? And we are close to each other? So I just...sometimes…” his voice trailed off.

“So you’re saying you don’t like me?” Bokuto’s eyes snapped back to him. “Because Kuroo-san just confirmed it.”

Bokuto swore under his breath. The younger man could see him trying to come up with something else. And that, that was what Akaashi didn’t understand. If Kuroo was right and Bokuto liked him, why was he so adamant to deny it?

“I don’t get it, Bokuto-san. Sometimes...sometimes it actually feels like you don’t like me being here.”

“That’s not true!” he yelled. “I’ve never had a problem with you, ‘Kaashi! I’m happy we are flatmates.”

Akaashi interrupted him, “But if you like me, how come you never touch me? Putting aside the recent cuddling, you are very careful around me. It doesn’t make sense when you’re always sprawled everywhere and touching everyone all the time.”

Bokuto clenched his fists, shoulders tensing. He murmured something that Akaashi couldn’t catch.

“What was that?”

“I don’t wanna hurt you!” he shouted.

Akaashi paused. His flatmate was looking at him with surprise, his mouth set on a flat line that looked like regret. For what? For shouting at him? Bokuto hollering was a constant in the house, it was nothing new and what was he about? Bokuto was harmless. He had never....then it clicked. The avoidance in the beginning of their relationship. How Bokuto was always tiptoeing around and forced himself to speak in a lower volume. How he barely touched him, aside from the occasional pat. Akaashi took a step forward.

“Koutarou.” his flatmate stilled. Golden eyes sharpening. “You’re not him. You’re not Daishou.” he took another step forward. “You won’t hurt me.”

The younger boy took one of his hands, uncurling the fingers and bringing it up to his cheek. Quietly, he said “You can touch me.”

Bokuto looked at him, there was only sincerity on those dark blue eyes and his hand trembled. He moved his fingers delicately, ghostly touch along that pale neck. If he closed his eyes he could still see those old bruises. His hand spasmed and Akaashi’ slender fingers closed around his wrist. He was smiling encouragely, tilting his head up.

Bokuto took a long breath and then he was kissing him, both hands cradling his face. It took Akaashi a few seconds to react, too stunned at the realisation Bokuto was willingly kissing him. And then he surged forward, hands tangling on his silver hair, trying to leave no space between them. The older man just kissed him harder after seeing how eager he was. Why had he waited so long? Why had they wasted so much time, making up excuses? Akaashi moaned when Bokuto bit his lower lip, tongue sneaking inside. He felt like a damp had broken inside of him and the only thing he could do was pour all his feelings on those kisses. He never wanted Bokuto to doubt himself ever again. The latter got his hands under his thighs and suddenly he was being hoisted up. He yelped, long legs circling that slim waist, hands flying to his shoulders. Bokuto was looking at him, his eyes twinkling mischievously. 

“Fuck.” Akaashi whispered. Bokuto hid his face on his collarbone, laughing, and he couldn’t stop the big smile from forming on his lips. He was sure he looked like a mad man.

The silver haired man walked them into his own room and sat down on the bed, Akaashi straddling him. It’d been so long since he had felt the warmth of another body that close. The intimacy.

Bokuto kissed his jaw, “Okay?”

More than okay, he wanted to answer. Instead he pushed him, back hitting the covers, Akaashi sprawled over him and kissed Bokuto with gusto.

Bokuto’s hand ghosted over his back, touch light, never pressuring. Akaashi pulled back, hands splayed on that hard chest. Bokuto was so fucking ripped Akaashi was honestly having a hard time not putting his hands everywhere. He giggled and Bokuto arched a brow, amused. 

“I like you.” the younger man said, trailing a finger over his eyebrow. Bokuto stared at him with an intensity that made him shudder and then his eyes softened, bringing up a hand, he pushed away Akaashi’s bangs.

“I just want you to be safe, Keiji.”

Akaashi swallowed the lump on his throat and smiled warmly, “You’ve always been a safe haven.”

Bokuto turned them swiftly, with him being on top now, Akaashi could admire the broadness of his shoulders. The strong hands that could spike a ball with an unnatural speed. The mess of his silver strands, almost pulled down, an anomaly for anyone who was not used to seeing him in the comfort of his own house.

Bokuto smiled under the scrutiny, his eyes crinkling, and Akaashi thought that yes, he’d never been more sheltered than in those arms.

**Author's Note:**

> based on [this](https://twitter.com/redditships/status/1244266764512493569)


End file.
